Hello there, Catholic earthlings.
Meet your maker.
Okay, okay. I’m just kidding. My name is Logan, not Mary. Oh! ZING! Catholic stereotype joke!
Anyways, forreals. My name is Logan Rutherford, the Secret Vatican Spy’s little-but-more-awesome-then-her-brother. I’m sixteen, single (you heard me, if you, or somebody you know is around my age, tell them I said “Why, hello there.” But only if they wear normal clothes. No denim skirts), intelligent, and a bestselling author, but more on that in a minute.
First, I’m going to tell you exactly why Kassie hasn’t posted in forever.
She turned 21.
Yes, It’s true. She turned 21, and in the United States, you can drink when you turn that age (except in Florida. It’s 5-years-old there). Now, here time is filled with “taking communion”. I went with her to mass when I was up in T-Town, and when it was time for communion, she just took that chalice away from the pastor – or whatever you guys call them – and she started chuggin’!
Okay, so that’s not the real reason why she hasn’t posted in a while. The real reason is that she moved, then she started being a nanny, then she started doing ballet, and then there’s that one minor thing: she doesn’t have a computer. However, if you wanna keep up with her, and stuff, you can follow her on Twitter: @vaticanspy
Don’t look for her on Facebook. She deleted hers. Again.
Also, if you wanna text her, text her at 555-555-5545 Let me know if that number works. That’s the one she gave to me, and I haven’t gotten through to her in forever. I’m beginning to think that something else is going on…
Anyways, you can hopefully hear from her soon. I told her to steal a laptop from the library, or something. She has not…yet. Next time I’m in Tulsa, we’re going on a trip to the library!
Anyways, I feel compelled to share a scripture with you, or something. Since after all, this is a Christian blog. It says in the Bible: Jesus Wept. Just like I will do if Kassie does not post here soon.
Now you don’t have to have a quiet time (if you guys do that)!
Anyways, before I go, I thought that I would tell you guys to check out my blog – Existential Bacon – at http://existentialbacon.wordpress.com
And last but not least, check out my short story for the Kindle, Nook, and any other eReader. It’s called “Runner (The Runners)” It was #1 on Amazon in the Short Stories category, so I guess that’s a sign that it’s good.
All right! That’s All Folks!
Logan Rutherford, @jaloru95 on Twitter.