Logan’s Guide to Life: Siblings.

27 Sep

Hello fellas (and ladies).

It’s me, Logan Rutherford. The Secret Protestant Spy…? Okay, that’s kinda lame.

I’m going to be giving you fellas (and possibly ladies) a guide on how to be a good (or not so good) brother.

Me? I’m the perfect brother. You can just ask Kassie! Okay, on second thought, don’t ask her. I’ve been a brother for 16-and-a-half-on-October-3rd years! :O (That’s the only smiley I’m using in this post. Promise).

If you’re a brother, and you’re reading this, you’ve probably been one for way longer than I have. But this is what I’ve learned after being a brother to 8 siblings (9 if you count me, but don’t. That’s stupid).

1. Be a friend.

That’s really important. You don’t want to be that brother. You want to be your siblings friend, and you want them to be yours, too. You don’t want to be sitting at the table for Thanksgiving 20 years from now, depressed because you wish you would’ve been there for your sister, and maybe then she wouldn’t have moved off to the North Pole with that hot Italian guy who’s a professional swimmer, and rich. Maybe if you’d been a little nicer, you’d get a Ferrari for your birthday, and one of the Italians hot super model friends. But no, you were a jerk, and your sister hates you, making your brother-in-law hate you.

Also, your sister may have a friend who’s really hot. If you and your sister aren’t on good terms, who’s she gonna go to? That’s right. Her hot best friend. Now, the hot best friend hates you! Trust me, if your sister has a friend that you like, be nice to your sister. Trust me on this one. She’s more powerful than you can possibly imagiane.

2. Be nice.

Say your sibling has a really awesome TV. It’s HD, has a built in DVD player, it’s big (or bigger than yours, atleast) and you really want to use it. Maybe yours doesn’t have a DVD player, or something. Fact is, she isn’t going to let you use it if you’re a jerk. You’re gonna have to find somewhere else to watch your Stargate Atlantis.*

*This may be from personal experience.

3. Train them.

This is a must (works best on younger siblings). Once they “pop out” start playing episode IV of Star Wars. They must be geeks, and like video games, just like you. You need somebody to talk about the new episode of Star Wars: The Clone Wars. Trust me, everything is boring on your own. If you train your siblings right, you’ll never have to be bored again.

4. Read. Read. Read.

If you’re a reader, you must make your siblings one, too. It doesn’t matter if they don’t read, or they don’t like the same books as you. You must take you favorite book, force it infront of them, sit on them (or get a gun, if they’re too big), and force them to read it. It all goes back to number three. Train them.

Also, it may not be very nice, but to me, I’m doing them a favor by making them read my favorite book. It’s a way of cutting the crap, and taking them straight to the good stuff.

That’s also what she said.

5. Blackmail them (or bribe).

If you’ve done something bad, and your sibling knows about it, Blackmail them. You must find some dirt on them! Come on, it’s not that hard. You live with them! Just go into their room, and read their diary. It’s full of blackmailing gold. Now, next time they threaten to go to the parents about something you did, fight back! Don’t let them get away with it! Although, if you follow number one and two, they won’t tell the parents, anyways. They would never want to hurt their bestfriend!

That’s all the tips I have for now. I gotta hurry up and send this to Kassie, because she’s being a total jerk and rushing me!*

You can find me at my blog, http://existentialbacon.wordpress.com or Twitter, http://www.twitter.com/jaloru95 that’s @jaloru95

Thanks for reading!

Logan Rutherford

*Yay for irony!


4 Responses to “Logan’s Guide to Life: Siblings.”

  1. priestswifepriest's wife September 27, 2011 at 4:11 pm #

    great guest post!

    such a nice brother… ๐Ÿ™‚

  2. Your Mom September 28, 2011 at 3:24 pm #

    Wow, as a parent to 8 children, I find this post EXTREMELY enlightening. Especially # 5.

  3. Calah Michelle Alexander October 1, 2011 at 6:14 pm #

    Probably the only thing I love more in life than The Secret Vatican Spy is her brother. Protestant and all.

  4. Whitney Rutherford (@furrylise) October 1, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

    I wonder where you got #2 from… ๐Ÿ˜‰ I’m glad you learned from your lesson.

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